There’s been a petition I’ve brought before God consistently in my adult life—a thorn in my flesh that I’ve tried to shake numerous times to no avail. Quarantine has brought it into light probably more than anything else I’ve ever lived through, so my prayers have really amped up around this part of me I long to let go of.
He has for sure heard that prayer because He’s given me test after test to take up that cross and follow Him. I’ve responded and reacted for so long the same unholy way, doing anything else is is frighteningly odd and foreign.
Not long ago, my husband started the process of the nighttime routine and told our little boy to get his pajamas on. He responded as an undisciplined 6-yo should...whining, becoming a limp noodle on the floor, and doing anything and everything except what he was told to do.
This is one of my triggers and there’s nothing my flesh felt the need to do more than take over this situation and force the little one into compliance. I wanted to raise my voice and lecture, but for some reason my tongue was on lockdown and I had no words. I couldn’t move either. So I sat...in silence...watching my husband parent in the exact opposite way that I would. I’m not sure what happened there because sitting quietly and holding my tongue is not me. I can only imagine that it was the mighty and powerful hand of God answering a prayer I’ve prayed for ages.
After it was all over and the little one was in bed, I had a gentle reminder that my Father is trying to teach me first time obedience as well. He wants me to give Him my harsh, angry responses and replace it with gentleness. He wants me to let go of trying to control my people so that He can. And for the love of His Holy Name he wants me to let my husband lead!! More often than not, I’ve responded to those things with whining and complaining and being a limp noodle on the floor.
I’m thankful He loves me too much to let me act the way that my flesh wants to. I’m thankful He has heard my prayers and cries for help. And I’m thankful He’s answering.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7