I was barely off the phone when the enemy pressed in hard...
Don’t go tell Brad about this. It’s outlandish and the chances that God is going to do anything to help you is is laughable! Besides no one would choose you to be the mother of their baby anyway.
I’m not sure why I ignored the lies this time when falling for them had become so natural. Certainly it wasn’t me, but Hope in me, that defied the natural response. I got off the bed and marched straight into the room where my husband was sitting and told him about our friends I hadn’t seen in ages who knows a girl in prison that is pregnant and doesn’t have a family to take her baby. And...uhhh...the baby is due in about 5 weeks.
Hmmmm.
That was his response.
Why don’t we both pray about it this week and discuss it next week.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Praying is exactly what I did. Or begging. The two had become synonymous by that point in my wrestling match with God and discerning between them was pointless. What mattered was that I was still wrestling. I hadn’t tapped out yet.
Over the next week, this new possibility was the focus of my time with Him.
One thing I had learned was to be thankful in my petitions...regardless of my feelings...along with worship and praise. I had learned that how I approached Him mattered because it not only gave Him the respect He deserved, but it placed me in a childlike posture with the ability to receive. He requires things of us that are for our good.
I prayed for wisdom beyond our own. For a peace that would pass understanding. For clarity. And for both of us to receive the same message regarding this trek we might step into.
I also laid out every horrible thought and fear that was poking around my thought life. I cried. I laughed. I said, “Could this be?”. And then I fully received the leaping of my heart at the possibility that the answer could be “Yes, Beloved.”
As usual, the adversary tossed me some ridicule for the new Hope in me.
This time I tossed back.
He will never leave nor forsake me.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Two days later, I was up early before work, again petitioning. I opened my Bible and before I could get to the scripture of the day, two verses popped into my mind...
James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
And...
Psalm 82:3-4
Defend the weak and the fatherless;
uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.
After reading them in context, I sat quietly and let those scriptures dance around in my head for a while.
This isn't about you. Your comfort. Your lifestyle. Your finances. What you are capable of or not capable of.
At all.
It is about Me and the Hope I give. It is about a baby, who I created and for whom I have a plan.
If I can't use you, I can find someone else.
~~~~~~~~~~~
He hears us when we ramble from our hearts. He’s in touch with our fears. He knows our flaws. He sees our circumstances.
And sometimes...
...He spells out His.very.simple.Truth.
Don’t go tell Brad about this. It’s outlandish and the chances that God is going to do anything to help you is is laughable! Besides no one would choose you to be the mother of their baby anyway.
I’m not sure why I ignored the lies this time when falling for them had become so natural. Certainly it wasn’t me, but Hope in me, that defied the natural response. I got off the bed and marched straight into the room where my husband was sitting and told him about our friends I hadn’t seen in ages who knows a girl in prison that is pregnant and doesn’t have a family to take her baby. And...uhhh...the baby is due in about 5 weeks.
Hmmmm.
That was his response.
Why don’t we both pray about it this week and discuss it next week.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Praying is exactly what I did. Or begging. The two had become synonymous by that point in my wrestling match with God and discerning between them was pointless. What mattered was that I was still wrestling. I hadn’t tapped out yet.
Over the next week, this new possibility was the focus of my time with Him.
One thing I had learned was to be thankful in my petitions...regardless of my feelings...along with worship and praise. I had learned that how I approached Him mattered because it not only gave Him the respect He deserved, but it placed me in a childlike posture with the ability to receive. He requires things of us that are for our good.
I prayed for wisdom beyond our own. For a peace that would pass understanding. For clarity. And for both of us to receive the same message regarding this trek we might step into.
I also laid out every horrible thought and fear that was poking around my thought life. I cried. I laughed. I said, “Could this be?”. And then I fully received the leaping of my heart at the possibility that the answer could be “Yes, Beloved.”
As usual, the adversary tossed me some ridicule for the new Hope in me.
This time I tossed back.
He will never leave nor forsake me.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Two days later, I was up early before work, again petitioning. I opened my Bible and before I could get to the scripture of the day, two verses popped into my mind...
James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
And...
Psalm 82:3-4
Defend the weak and the fatherless;
uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.
After reading them in context, I sat quietly and let those scriptures dance around in my head for a while.
This isn't about you. Your comfort. Your lifestyle. Your finances. What you are capable of or not capable of.
At all.
It is about Me and the Hope I give. It is about a baby, who I created and for whom I have a plan.
If I can't use you, I can find someone else.
~~~~~~~~~~~
He hears us when we ramble from our hearts. He’s in touch with our fears. He knows our flaws. He sees our circumstances.
And sometimes...
...He spells out His.very.simple.Truth.
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